Originally published for The Alternative Chronicle
I know what you’re thinking. That poster looks like a joke, right? God how I wish is was a joke. Then I wouldn’t have wasted the time and brain cells it cost me to sit through this atrocity. Now, you may be wondering about the odd capitalization of “APP” in the title. Well, here’s the premise: This is a sketch anthology film tied together by a tablet loaded with a slew of apps, each of which launches another “funny” and offensive sketch. No, seriously. Still not convinced it isn’t a joke? Well how about this: the film is directed and partially written by none other than Vince Offer. Yup. This guy.
Okay, so maybe I’m just digging myself in deeper so I’ll stop trying to prove this is real and just get on with the review. The film is weirdly bookended by a sketch where Vince himself plays a guy who sits under a sidewalk grate blowing air through it to billow the dress of a Marilyn Monroe look-a-like played by Lindsay Lohan. The camera then enters her (clothed, thank god) vagina (again, I’m not making any of this up), the opening credits roll, and we then see the tablet. An unseen person’s hand chooses an app and we’re on to the next sketch. Rinse, repeat ad nauseam. The film ends about eighty minutes later after exiting Lohan’s vag. Umm… Are we to understand that everything between has taken place inside her genitals?
That’s about as funny and makes as much sense as anything else in the movie. The sketches range from one-offs like a psychologist listening to a nymphomaniac before choking on an apple, to repeated ones like a very timely Jackass spoof called “Blackass”. See what they did there? Now, the main point of this movie is to be as offensive as possible. Sound familiar? Yeah, it’s exactly like the utterly horrible Movie 43 which was released earlier this year. Unlike Movie 43 though, this film only has one Oscar winner making an ass of himself. Adrien Brody collects a paycheck by being in a series of sketches that revolve around the character “Flirty Harry” (another timely and clever reference!). The “joke” here is that he’s gay and makes a lot of gay double entendres.
Comedian(?) Ari Shaffir stars in a painfully unfunny series of shorts titled “The Amazing Racist” (what is with these guys and their references?), where Shaffir runs through every obvious racist stereotype in a way that is neither clever, nor funny. At times he seems to just be going as fast as he can through a checklist titled something like “Racist Asian Stereotypes” and each segment focuses on a different race. It’s supposed to be a hidden camera show but it’s very obviously entirely scripted. So it doesn’t even have a single thing to do with The Amazing Race! What the hell, people?
There are others but it’s getting tedious and depressing trying to describe them. Needless to say, they all try their hardest to be offensive. In fact, they’re trying so hard that they actually forget to be funny. I don’t have a problem with dirty or offensive humor. I think these kind of jokes can be funny but this is the same problem I had with Movie 43. There are literally no actual jokes to be found here. The people who make these movies need to learn that being offensive is not, in and of itself, funny. At least with Movie 43, it looked like there was some effort put into it. This is just lazy all around, start to finish.
When I saw Movie 43 earlier this year, I thought that would be the worst movie I’d have to endure this year. I was wrong. InAPPropriate Comedy is a low point for movies in 2013, it’s a low point for cinema in general, and it’s a low point for humanity in total.